There's no business like monkey business
You scratch your head and ponder. Unlimited wishes? "Well I'll be a monkey's uncle!" you exclaim.
The genie ponders for a moment and bows. "Granted. See you in an hour." And with that he is gone, just like that.
Now what was that about? After a speech like that you had expected some fancy bibbity-boo stuff. And what exactly was granted? You didn't make a wish... or did you?
You pick up the lamp and rub it again, but all that comes out is a small puff of green smoke that congeals into a set of glowing digits. They last just long enough for you to realize that they are counting down from an hour. Another attempt produces blue digits that seem to be stuck at 23:59. Counting down from a day?
If you didn't know better (come to think of it, you don't) you would say you just made a wish, and the first clock is counting down the time left to the next one, and the other shows how long the wish will last. Only you didn't make a wish.. or did you?
You find the shopkeeper, explain what happened and ask what he thinks. He strokes his beard thoughtfully and asks: "What exactly did you say?"
"I think it was 'I'll be a monkey's uncle' or something like that. What...?"
"And do you have any married siblings?"
Your heart sinks as you realize the implications of his innocent question. Pausing only to toss the lamp into a basket of stuff nearby, you rush out of the store and make a beeline for your brother's house a couple of blocks up the road. As you pass out of earshot, you hear the shopkeeper mumble "I take that as a 'yes'..."
Bailing over the back fence for the final shortcut, you arrive in the back garden just in time to hear a woman screaming and some noises you last heard when you visited the zoo. It's a warm day and the patio door is open, so you run straight into the sitting room and stop dead as you see you sister-in-law standing in the kitchen door with a panicked expression. She was the one you heard screaming, and the cause is obvious when you turn to see what she is staring at.
Over in the corner, surrounded by a pile of your niece's favorite toys, sits a small chimpanzee child - a girl, from the look of it - looking curiously at the screaming woman and the panting man. She looks quite different from the last time you saw her, but putting all the factors together there is only one explanation. After all, the genie never said the effect of your 'wishes' would be limited to your person.
"Hot dog!" you mutter to yourself. "I am a monkey's uncle!"
Written by Won-Tolla on 26 July 2007