Beast Within

Rating 1 / 5

The biggest problem for this book is their are too many storylines. For instance they send out mech explorers at the start, apart from a few paragraphs they are not mentioned again.

The first chapter explains how the world is fighting an alien invader. This appears to be irrelevant for most of the book

Another problem is their are too many characters for the author to go into detail and thus you forget who most of them are.

An example of a story-line that could be completely removed is the mech explorers. They have 4 scenes. One where they are sent out(Which I do not remember). Another where they are discussing why they cannot communicate with the ship, (this does not come up again), a third where they interact with the main characters at a distance, the forth is when they arrive at the camp and defend it. All of which I feel could be removed completely

Another problem is the antagonists. Other then the aliens mentioned in the first chapter their are three. One human on the ship who seems to hate the main characters for no reason that I can see. An insect race which are dealt with in a couple of chapters. The third is a mystery race who aside from sending an exploration force does little in this book

Another storyline I wish to mention is what I like to call "the secret" storyline. The main group has shapeshifting powers which they want to keep secret. They take in someone who has powers of her own, and decide to kill her if she discovers the secret. She finds a MacGuffin that activates it and they decide to let her live.

The transformation itself is a MacGuffin in that replacing it with a different secret will serve the same purpose. They are not well described and I even had to go back to figure out when it happened.

Overall I can see the potential for a good story though, if it went through another couple of rounds of editing. I still cannot give this more then a 1 as I struggled to finish it

Wolfbreed Reviews The Raven and the Reindeer

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